Fresh off the heels of PICI (The Peoples Intensive in Compositional Improvisation) during this MICI gap year and what a whirlwind it was. I'm still trying to process, decipher and remember all that happened. There is a lot I could write about. But really two things come to mind:

-Choosing is caring

-Patience vs waiting

Katherine Ferrier's eloquent words through Skype started us off , creating a space from where the rest of the day could unfold. She spoke about composition and how composing is choosing and choosing is caring. To choose something is to care. This didn't register in it's current context until I sat down to write. To choose something means to select freely after careful consideration, to decide, to place attention towards. By choosing, I am zooming in, I am honing in on, I am making a decision. I am choosing to care.

Patience vs waiting.

Jennifer Kayle asked me the following day if I was a patient person. Every conversation with JK leaves me feeling like I've learned something new about myself. I would like to think I am a patient person. I can be. Then I thought about how outside the work, my life has felt a little lost lately, mainly because of indecision. I often find myself waiting. Patience requires a certain amount of involvement, a trust, a steady commitment towards something, often in collaboration with others. Waiting is more solitary, heavy, a void. The very definition of waiting is to remain stationary in expectation. There is less involvement, less trust, no movement at all.

Where am I going with all of this?

To choose and stay with requires a certain level of patience, a steady commitment and attention towards the decisions that make up the composition as a whole. To choose and then wait, well that doesn't really work nor does keeping many options open. But to really choose and commit and find patience in the process, that is something I would like to embrace more in all aspects of my life.

Grateful for the Architects, for all who participated in PICI, for this work.