I just completed a 30-day phase of living that included eliminating lots of unnecessary things from my life…sugars, glutens, CHEESE, alcohol, all of those things that I was under the completely false pretense of being necessary until this month-long foray. At about the same time in my life, I had changed jobs, ended an unhealthy relationship and started to examine where else in my life I need to cut out the unneeded. It was an intense and beautiful period in my life – I desperately needed the exercise of questioning what is important/needed/bringing joy to my life to be at the forefront of my mind for an entire month. Why hadn’t I afforded myself the practice of this question so intensely before?…it started to stick, and started to grow, and now I’m on a bit of a new trajectory in a few ways.
But this practice of omitting also helped me see what I simply couldn’t live without. I am an artist, and I want to scheme and dream and make things. I can’t live without that.
Making The Lovelies happen, and making the tenets of Compositional Improvisation actual fabric in my daily and performance life are not easy – it’s a never-ending task, source of energy and beauty, and also a constant acquiesce to the group. When you’re taking the time to ask what you need, it’s not always going to be what the group needs. And this was a great reminder for me – I have to cheat on The Lovelies sometimes, to get all the Love that I want from my artistry…it leads to a spiral of selfish thoughts, but I can’t always make art being primarily concerned with who and how it will affect. Sometimes it just has to be straight from the heart of one to make the impact that it deserves.